'Why can't we all be French?' and other travel reflections

I have been away - Spain walking the Camino Primitivo, a week in Portugal then barging in France on the Canal du Midi. Here are some holiday reflections and random thoughts that happen when you walk 323km then spend time on a slow boat travelling a verdant canal:

🌿 Walking is therapy. Walking in nature without talking for big chunks of time is like fast tracking that therapy. Having the capacity to have a thought, hold that thought and follow it to its conclusion was a revelation. I didn't always like the answers I burrowed my way to, but I was certainly able to put some long-held beliefs and habits to bed.

🌿 Getting out of a ball pit is a lot harder than getting into one. Especially in a skirt.

🌿 I took many photos but chose not to share much on SM. It took me out of the beautiful places I was in, and meant that I had to be on my phone. The disconnection was part of the magic.

🌿 My feet, my blistered and sunburnt and heat rashy feet! Never have I ever seen them looking so bad. But they held me up, they continued to take step after step despite the pain, and apart from missing a pinky toenail they are back to normal. Feet are amazing!

🌿 Minimal choices made each day very simple. Get up, put on the same clothes, follow the yellow arrow for many many kilometres, eat what is put in front of you, shower, sleep. Repeat for many days. The lack of options was so soothing.

🌿 Sitting with a friend in silence is a special kind of bliss. So is talking non-stop for days - what a luxury! Again, excellent therapy.

🌿 Time stretched, paused, and felt voluminous in a way that sounds nuts but continues to be a thing.

🌿 Simplify, simplify, simplify.

🌿 No-one really cares what you do. How you look. What you say. Whether you succeed or fail, accept or decline. There may be some mutterings but they pass quickly, and honestly, let them say or think what they like. It is so freeing. Let them mutter away, and let you do you.

🌿 French women have such an unfair advantage. They know how to wear clothes, go grey stylishly, make smoking chic and drink wine at lunch. I bought the jeans and the blazer and the sneakers, yet no-one will ever look at my awkward self and say 'Tres chic!' and that's just fine. I will stick to the anti-glamour of stretchy pants and hiking boots!

🌿 I am so impressed with the way my body coped. Honestly, it has completely changed what I see in the mirror. All the usual problematic bits are still there, but I am just so grateful at how capable my physical self is right now. Big respect to my human form for all the right reasons.

 🌿 Travelling with the right person makes all the good moments brighter, and the tough times bearable. Being able to be silent or silly, to take it in turns to tend and be tended, to be each others lamp, lifeboat and ladder ... priceless 🥰

Coming home has been lovely. Time continues to feel spacious, my thoughts are clear and attention is focused. I have stopped listening to music and podcasts on my walks. I am sitting in the garden more, watching spring unfurl. I am taking my time in the studio, letting everyone relax and marinate in calm silence. I am doing my best to offer less so you can find more. More peace, more interoception, more of you, in a world that often is pulling us out of ourselves. I am loving seeing you all, with hair growing back, bodies healing, medical interventions working, and stories of your own families and adventures.

There is no doubt it is a privilege to take such a long break. I am finally in a place with few maternal responsibilities, I work for myself and have a loving partner. It has taken a while, 54 years in fact, for me to feel so at peace and at home in myself.

Long may it linger, and may the ripple effect encompass you all.

With love

❤️

Amanda xx