I reached level 53 this week. It feels like a bit of an in-between kind of age. I had an amazing party for my 50th. I know that every turn around the sun is worth celebrating, but I don't know that I have the stamina to make giant tinsel curtains and disco booths and turn the whole house into Studio 54 every year.
I like seeing birthdays as reaching a level, hopefully gaining wisdom and experience as we progress (thank you Michael for introducing me to levels). Anyway, birthdays generated much conversation in the studio. And so I asked my yogis the question 'What level do you like? What level would you go back to?'
The answers were varied, but what I found interesting was that most didn't go back that far. 10-15 years for most. No one wanted to go back to being a teenager, or even early 20s when we were probably peaking in the health/looks/body departments, but perhaps lacking confidence and direction.
Most settled somewhere between 40-55. Which makes me look at 53 in a whole new light. Wait, what - is this possibly me, peaking? Will I look back and shake my head at the things I am prioritizing - or not - and say with the wisdom of experience 'Oh darling girl, if only you knew ...'
It is true that 52 was quite a ride, from start to finish. Exploration, courage, creativity, discomfort on steroids, and a true settling into self. It took a long time to finally meet myself on a mountain top, then again in a river. But, as they say, the juice was worth the squeeze.
And it got me thinking. Everyone is carrying around a lifetime of bravery and indecision and love and loss and moments of incandescent joy, and I don't think we get to talk about them enough. We don't get the opportunity.
There are plenty of interviews out there with famous women who have done marvelous things. They are inspiring to listen to. But you don't have to be famous to have a story. You don't need to have had great success (however that may look) to know how it feels to be a woman, today. You don't need to have special powers to share advice, to talk about the forks in the road that changed the course of your life.
So, I have an idea. I would love to interview ordinary women, 40+, and get real about the challenges, the joys and the reality of aging. This idea is still in its infancy, so bear with me, but here are some of the things I am wondering about you (not all will apply):
What age are you now? And how do you feel about it?
What age would you go back to?
What was special about that age?
What have you learned about yourself between then and now?
What would you do differently?
How do you feel about the years to come?
How has your relationship with yourself - physically, mentally, spiritually - changed as you move from level to level?
Pick a time when you were younger and struggling. What do you wish someone had said to you?
What was your experience of childbirth?
What was your experience of peri/menopause?
In your perfect world, how would you be living? Partnered? Alone? Commune with girlfriends? A combination? And how different is this from how you currently live?
+ many more! And the option to be anonymous so you can really get stuff off your chest ;)
I think it is important to get below the surface. The deep is so much more interesting than the shallows. We are so much more than our jobs, and our role as partners/daughters/mothers. These roles may take up much of our time and headspace, but there is way more going on under the hood.
Like last night, just before class, I was putting out a little cone of incense just as one of the yogis arrived. I joked that I was saging her as she entered, and she replied 'Good, I have had some very wicked thoughts.' (She hadn't) (Or maybe she had - no judgment).
If you have seen the series Fleabag, you may recall the wonderful Kristen Scott Thomas's role as Belinda, post-menopausal and magnificent:
'The menopause comes and it is the most wonderful fucking thing in the world. Yes, your entire pelvic floor crumbles and you get fucking hot and no one cares and then .. you're free. No longer a slave, no longer a machine, with parts. You're just a person ... It's horrendous. But then it is magnificent.'
I would love to compile your stories into a guide that is illuminating, inspirational, heartwarming and funny.
If this is something you are curious about participating in, email me at amanda@amandayoga.com.au
There is no obligation, and many kinks to be ironed out! Feel free to forward this to anyone you think may be interested. The more the merrier.
Let's continue to level up together!
With love,
Amanda ❤️
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