I have been talking to alot of year 12’s lately, and my goodness, what alot they have going on! I just want to give them all a big hug and remind them that they are so young and tender. So I wrote them a letter, and thought I would share it here for those of you who have your own poppets that could do with some love … I also found it a helpful reminder to myself to be a bit kinder and more understanding 😊
'Young One,
Be kind to yourself. You are not meant to know what to do, what to say, how to be. You are a fledgling adult, and it takes some time and practice to step confidently into adulthood. And, even then, you will stumble and be unsure. That is fine, it’s normal. It may look as though some people have it all sorted out, are completely together, but trust me - they don’t. No one does, not all of the time; yet, we all do, some of the time.
You may feel pressured - by your parents, by your school, by yourself. If this is the case, speak to your parents, assure them you are doing the best you are capable of doing at the moment. Remind them that you are not your marks. Remind yourself that you are not your marks. Be honest with yourself and your parents about how much you can take on. Life is long, and there is no need to cram so much into the last year of school if you are feeling overwhelmed. Some cope better than others with a schedule bursting at the seams. It’s fine if this is not you. It is a time of huge change physically, emotionally and intellectually. Allow yourself the time and space to expand to your new edges.
Friendships can be a wonderful balm, or a toxic hassle. Unfortunately this doesn’t necessarily change when you leave school, however you do get some more choice about who you spend your time with. For now, as best you can, choose friends who are genuine, caring and supportive. This is so much more important than popular or cool. Be a good friend to others by listening, noticing when someone is down, cheering the wins and being there for the losses. Avoid bitchiness and backstabbing - not only is it hurtful to those you talk about, it will make you feel bad about yourself. Do better, be better than this.
Some days are amazing - full of laughter and blue skies and good marks and best friends. Other days are thunderous - poor sleep, crankiness, misunderstandings, body issues … the list goes on. We cycle through both in life. When the days are golden, enjoy and make the most of it. On the days when you would rather pull the covers up over your head - do what you need to, to get through the day. This might be a big cry, a warm bath, chocolate, a hug, a nap, a run. Soon the cycle will move back into the light. Teens are running high on hormones, which means experiences both good and bad are heightened. As best you can, try and keep some perspective.
This is such a short phase in your life - but may feel endless while you are in it. The world is full of so much opportunity, which can feel daunting or wonderful, depending which side of bed you got out of. You don’t have to think very far ahead. A few weeks at a time. Opportunities will continue to offer themselves to you, so don’t feel that you need to take on everything at once.
Parents and teachers first and foremost want you to be happy. Healthy. Safe. After these fundamentals, they want you to have opportunities to do whatever it is you want to do with your one precious life. However, you are in charge of this, not them. With all their best intentions and encouragement, it is still up to you to do the work, to put in your best effort, or not. You are already a living, breathing, lovely human. Please don’t forget this. You are already enough. Period. Education and opportunities are wonderful things that can help you to live a life that is fulfilling, rewarding and sustainable. But you are already enough.
Take some time each day to be in nature - this may simply be a couple of minutes in the garden, at the beach, on the school oval. Nature is such a great example of how cyclic life is, and, no matter how the birds and the bugs feel, the sun will rise, the sun will set, the stars will shine, the moon will glow. You are a part of this cycle - it is bigger than you and me and all of us. Take some deep breaths and let your belly unclench. Life is here to be embraced, laughed at, and loved.
Go forth with your youth, your curiosity, your quirky humour, your unique perspective, and allow the world to hold you gently while you find your feet. Acknowledge the chaos and the calamity, the noise and the peace, the joy and the sorrow, and regardless of whether you are in the dark or the light part of the cycle, know that you are loved, supported and cared for.
All will be well. All will be well. All will be well.
With much love from,
All the Mothers, Fathers, Carers and Teachers that are lucky enough to know you
xox'